I want this, me, to be viable. I want this whole experience/ hobby/ project/ what-have-you to not only be something I want to do; but something that is more than it's own reward. Emails have gone out to blogs I like (non-sellers) to inquire about advertising. I have researched about having my site retooled by someone who knows what they are doing so it can become a finished product much sooner than I ever could do by myself. My office is just this close to being functional. This is not a test.
There are several aspects to Loud Waterfall :: the shop, the blog, the charity that I support. Then there is me. Loud Waterfall is me. This is not a test. This is me.
My time is not always my own. I have an amazing husband who has been promoted (sorta) and has entered about a year's length of training and added stress. I am so very proud of him - he works very hard and when he actually is home, I want to be there. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. This is not a test.
|Discovering a snail in the rain - she was fascinated!|
Then there is Sadiecakes. The two year old sparkly tornado that brings a smile to face on a minute-to-minute basis. She blows my socks off with her smarts and silly-ness. I want to play every game, decorate every cupcake, slide down each slide. I don't want to miss a single moment. I still have pangs of sadness for that I have missed. I do not want to add to the tally. This is not a test.
So where do I fit in? Where is my time? LWP time? Heaven forbid I get a few hours out of the house a week to go to the gym and lose the baby weight I have zero excuse to still have saddled on me. Time to go shoot something that isn't Sadie. Please do not get me wrong - I love that nearly all of my current photos are Sadie themed - I just need to find me. This is not a test.
This is not a test .... This is real. This is me.